Shark Attack In South Florida
The shark attack at Stuart Beach left one kite boarder dead, presumably killed by baby great white sharks (which probably weren’t very small or cute).
Stephen Howard Schafer was the 38-year-old victim. He was found floating face down in the water by a lifeguard that perused onto the unguarded beach a quarter mile from Stuart Beach in south Florida. Schafer died shortly after arriving to a nearby hospital.
What the HELL was Pink wearing at the Grammys?
Last night at the Grammys, I had the displeasure of watching Pink come out looking like an old woman in a headscarf. I thought: “Well that’s a rather unfortunate outfit for the Grammys.” Then the headscarf/dress came off and Pink was wearing… nothing.
I don’t know if you saw the Grammys, but you probably shouldn’t try looking up Pink’s Grammy performance (I’ll give you a sec to Google it, or you can go here). Miss Pink was wearing white tape… literally. Even worse, she did a trapeze act and was even baptized before being spun around. I’m pretty sure someone got wet.
Murder Over Twitter Battle
Kwame Dancy (@kwameasy 132) was murdered following a Twitter battle with life long friend Jameg Blake.
22-year-old Kwame Dancy exchanged threatening Twitter tweets with friend Jameg Blake following a verbal fight over a girl. Kwame Dancy was later shot in the neck with a shotgun by Jameg Blake, who has since been charged with first degree murder.
Police will be using tweets exchanged between Kwame and Jameg in the case of the first Twitter murder.
Corduroy Skirts are a Sin!
“Corduroy skirts are a sin!” read a Syracuse University student’s sign as he stood beside a gay-basher preaching that homosexuality is a sin. The anti-gay woman protesting at a street corner near Syracuse University was attired in a brown corduroy skirt and a purple zip-up hoodie, a definite disaster by any standards.
The Syracuse student made his sign to shed humor on a serious situation. The tactic was also used to humiliate the woman, who was later overwhelmed by a crowd of over 100 gay supporters. The Syracuse student who had the “Corduroy skirts are a sin!” sign was applauded, given high-fives, and interviewed by a local news network.
The Evangelist’s church members have since been banned from protesting on Syracuse University’s property.
Amelia Earhart was Eaten by Coconut Crabs
Amelia Earhart was eaten by coconut crabs, says Richards Gillespie, a researcher for The International Group for Historic Aircraft (TIGHAR).
TIGHAR claims that artifacts found on Nikumaroro Island suggest that Amelia Earhart crash landed on the island, which is overrun by coconut crabs. There, they claim, Amelia probably succumbed to injury and infection, food poisoning from toxic fish, or severe dehydration. Then, coconut crabs devoured her remains.
Yea.
Marge Simpson in Playboy
Marge Simpson posed for Playboy in a series of scandalous pictures celebrating the 20th anniversary of The Simpsons. Marge Simpson’s pictures are the first cartoon photos to be featured in Playboy.
Here’s a sample of Marge’s Playboy pics. She has been reported to have “tasteful” photos taken in lingerie.
Woman Impaled by Tree
An Idaho woman was impaled by a tree while on a recreational drive with her husband.
Michelle Childers explains that while on her drive, a tree limb broke through the passenger side window. Childers says she then felt a “strange” pressure in her shoulder and neck. Michelle’s husband, Daniel, told her she had been impaled by the tree.
Childers was impaled by a 19-inch tree limb which was removed during a six-hour surgery. Michelle is expected to make a full recovery.
Drunk Man Throws Jellyfish
A 41-year-old drunk man was arrested after throwing jellyfish at spectators at Madeira Beach. The man was said to have been throwing jellyfish primarily at teens.
The man was also reported as having pretended to be drowning on multiple occasions that afternoon. He began collecting jellyfish after being taunted by spectators.
The 41-year-old who threw jellyfish is facing charges for being loud and disruptive, as well as for public intoxication. He is $250 bail.
IDIOT.
